I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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