i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
