Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
