she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
