He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
