ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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