I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
