my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
