No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
