im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
