No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
even my farts smell like vagina
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i need some magic done to my vagina
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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