enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
