You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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