haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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