remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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