Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
