He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
