what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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