Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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