And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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