Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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