Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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