(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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