Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
