Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm bleeding and have questions
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
