I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize