I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
