Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
