I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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