I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
