Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
