I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
