Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize