in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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