Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
