I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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