Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
