He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
