2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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