marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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