Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
