so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
