I'm lost and stupid without you.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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