Just fell off a train. Bad.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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