good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
