It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
