I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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