I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
