UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
