This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize