my vag is so smooth its legendary
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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