Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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