AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
