if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
