Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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