mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
