I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
