dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize